---
title: 'Finishing Stuff'
pubDate: '7/8/24'
tags: ['Mental Health']
---

It's been a while, longer than usual, since I've posted something here.

I often have a hard time finishing stuff if I don't have some kind of external pressure (like, say, my job depends on it), and it seems like it's been worse over the last several months.

If you were to take a look into my WIP folder for this blog, you'll see about a dozen or so posts in various states of unfinished. The next big update for my app is in limbo. My gaming backlog is littered with games I started and never finished. My sink always has a couple dishes I couldn't bring myself to just wash along with the rest of them.

It feels bad to have all these unfinished things hanging over my head. There's the guilt of course, but then there's the frustration and lack of fulfillment that comes with leaving so many things unfinished.

I have so many reasons for leaving things unfinished.

When it comes to writing or programming, it's lack of confidence in my work. With writing it's because I decided I have a bad take, or that my writing is just poor quality. With programming it's because I feel like I don't know what I'm doing (especially when working with Swift...).

For games, it's the desire to move on to the new shiny thing even though I'm still having fun with the game I'm playing.

With chores, my brain just gets bored and I feel the need to do something more mentally stimulating.

The cycle repeats, and eventually I'm overwhelmed. I have too many projects to finish. Too many blog posts to write. Too many games to play. Trying to go back and finish these things becomes less about the joy of creating or enjoying a hobby, and more about checking things off a list. So I lose the passion to even finish them.

I've never been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, but sometimes I wonder if that's something I should pursue (yet another unfinished task I suppose). I tend to blam it on my anxiety since I seem to have more of a challenge during periods of high anxiety (like I've had for the last few months), but maybe this is something I should look into.

In the meantime though, I did finish this blog post (finally), _and_ posted it, so I'm going to have a mini celebratory cup of tea.
